The Hardest Thing I Ever Did: Saying No and Slowing Down | Risha Yorke

In this episode of our Behind the Village podcast, we sit down with Risha Yorke from Yorke Motivational Consulting to explore her powerful journey from burnout to balance. After juggling a demanding IT career and running a theatre company, Risha made the bold decision to quit her job and focus on what truly matters: health, wellness, and living life on her own terms.

She shares candid insights on the importance of saying no, setting boundaries, and prioritizing lifestyle over work. You’ll hear about how she learned to slow down, embrace relaxation, and find joy in everyday moments. Even when it felt impossible.

Please note that this transcript was made using AI and it may not be entirely accurate.

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You’re listening to the Behind the Village podcast,

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Where we invite you to join us on a journey to understand how to live a life worth living.

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When Richard York moved back to Toronto from Vancouver after university, she was running a theater company and working in retail management, both at the same time, from there entering the world of it as an office manager, where she shifted and adjusted her way over to organizational development. She discovered a shared skill set with curriculum development and theater, which essentially boiled down to storytelling.

00;00;39;02 – 00;01;06;12
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And because I’m good with storytelling and metaphors and all those things, I was able to teach 22 year olds straight out of college. Like, what a storage array is and how that works, and like why you need antivirus and how that works and what networks look like. And what’s that all about? And so it was a fun gig for a little while, until it just became so intense, like we were there at 7 a.m. every day.

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I left at 5 p.m. every day, and I had to schedule p breaks. That’s how busy it was. Wow. Wow. And so even though I enjoyed the job and liked the company, I just I couldn’t keep doing this because I was also running a theater company on the side, right? My college file. Still running the theater company, which, you know, at this point was paying me, but not not a lot, right?

00;01;38;05 – 00;02;00;17
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So I started to come to terms with this, like, okay, something’s got to give. I can’t be working 90 hours a week. This is going to burn me out. And then I found out, my mom found out she had Parkinson’s disease. And I started to realize, like, the wheels in my head started to turn like, oh, my God, I am my mother.

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I am doing ten jobs. I am doing too much. I am overcommitting myself. And she now has a disease that attacks your nervous system like, shoot, this is me, right? Right. So I started to really think, like, okay, I need to slow down. I need to figure out how to slow down. I don’t know how to slow down.

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This isn’t a thing I excel at, right? Like, I like my plate full. I want to be busy. I like to do things. I’m. I’m a busy person, but I’m starting to realize, like, health wise, this is going to come back at me tenfold, and I need to find a way around it. Right. So I gave my notice at the IT company and everyone was shocked.

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The CEO took me out to lunch and was like, why are you leaving? And she’s like, like you’re at the top of your game here. We don’t understand, like, did somebody headhunted you? Or I’m like, no. She was like, what are you going to do? And I’m like, nothing. I need, I need a break. And she was like, what are you doing though?

00;03;14;07 – 00;03;35;26
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Like, how are you going to. I’m like, listen, I just need to stop. I’m on the hamster wheel. And for me to figure out what’s next, I have to get off the hamster wheel. Yeah. And luckily, we had put ourselves in a financial position where I could do that. Right? I recognized the privilege that I had there. We were about to get married.

00;03;35;29 – 00;03;58;14
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So everyone was like, you’re nuts. So you’re saving for a wedding and you quit your job? Like, I don’t understand what you’re doing. And I was like, yeah, I don’t know. And I had this really great therapist at the time, and she was like, you quit your job? And I’m like, yeah. And she’s like, okay, how’s that going?

00;03;58;17 – 00;04;20;19
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I’m thinking, well. And I was like, oh, it’s great. Like, I mean, so much done around the house. Like I painted the spare bedroom and I refinished the furniture and I and she’s like, So she had my number. Like, she knew I couldn’t stop. And she was like, so do you feel less stressed out now that you’re not at work?

00;04;20;19 – 00;04;46;21
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And I said, no, no, no, I’m still doing all the things, just different things. Right. And she’s like, oh, so we need to slow down, and start to talk about ways to kind of like amp this down a little bit. And then my therapist was like, yeah, I’d like you to kind of ratchet down. And I’m we’re going to start by doing one thing a week.

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And I was like, whoa, that’s a big change for y’all. It was hard.

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I don’t even know if I could do that one thing. It was one of hardest thing I ever did. I would love to do that, actually. Like, that’s really nice. So then she’s like, I want you to think about how you want to spend your time. So you can only do one thing in a week that like is a is like a work thing or of of, task thing.

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Every other part of your day has to be free and clear, and you do only what you want. Like you, you’re not allowed to give yourself homework or tasks. You have to just go with the flow. And if you feel like cooking, cook. And if you don’t feel like cooking, don’t cook. And if you and I was like, this is going to be impossible.

00;05;42;11 – 00;06;11;20
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And she was like, just try it. And she said, what do you feel like doing? Like if you could spend the perfect day doing anything, what would it be like? Think about a time in your life where you felt so relaxed and I laughed and I was like, it would be so inappropriate and, irresponsible to go back to that point in my life.

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And she said, why? And I said, because the last time I remember feeling that relaxed, I was stoned and playing Tony Hawk, and I was probably in my mid 20s till like 4 a.m. drinking bubble tea. Yeah, that was a good game, right? Talk about the game. It’s such a good game. And she was like, so do that.

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And I’m like, I’m a grown up. You don’t. You don’t get to do that anymore. She said why not.

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And it was a bit of an awakening for me. I was like yeah why not. I’m a grown up. I have at the time no children. I just quit my job. Right. What am I going to do with my time.

00;06;57;15 – 00;07;20;11
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And so I literally spent two weeks like playing video games and zoning out and laying around. And then I was like, I was dying to get out of the house. At that point, I like I had my two weeks, I would steeped in it. And then she said, okay, now we’re going to do three things a week. And then it was like five things a week.

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And then it was one thing a day, and then she’s like, I really want you to start to focus on like prioritizing these things. She’s a genius. I still see her. She’s incredible. And it put things into perspective for me. I was like, right, I’m trying to do all the things and I’m trying to do them all perfect.

00;07;41;03 – 00;07;58;19
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And I haven’t had a chance to sit back and really prioritize. Like what? What do I want? And then I started to develop this philosophy for myself. That was okay. Moving forward. It’s life style. First.

00;08;01;24 – 00;08;14;29
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It seems so simple, but it’s so hard in practice to put lifestyle ahead of work. It seems backwards. June and I are definitely guilty of trying to make our lives fit work first, instead of the other way around.

00;08;17;29 – 00;08;42;14
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So it’s like the major act of rebellion now is to rest and say no and protect your wellness. And that takes time to figure out, right? Because you have to figure out what is important to you, where you’re going to spend your energy, and then set your boundaries around that and be unwavering. And it’s especially tough again, going back to what society demands.

00;08;42;14 – 00;09;06;01
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And it’s not just your time but it’s the expectation that your time is not worth something if you’re not productive and making money. And that’s a hard one for me to switch into. It’s like, no, but my time raising my kids, that is worth it. I may not be gaining anything financially from it, but putting the time into my kids is just as valuable as sitting at my desk, you know?

00;09;06;03 – 00;09;47;01
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And I mean, and that also, you know, speaks to art. Most artists are painfully underpaid, right? But they provide the world’s entertainment. And so we devalue them from a monetary position. But in culture and in the world, artists are highly revered. So what’s going on there? Right. So this is where the conversation started to happen in my head to I’m like wait a minute, wait a minute, wait like I run a theater company and the things I’m putting out into the world, they’re valuable and people are enjoying them and they’re fun and it’s hard work.

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It’s really hard work. But somehow I don’t deserve to be paid for that work.

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Sometimes it feels like an impossible decision to choose between something you love and are passionate about, or something that will pay the bills. Risha felt caught in that trap too. Burning the candle at both ends, trying to maintain her passion in theater and working full time.

00;10;10;00 – 00;10;14;16
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What was it that shifted her perspective, and how did she make that change?

00;10;16;20 – 00;10;35;11
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Yeah. I mean, you know, it’s funny, I started seeing, like, how much my mom was suffering with Parkinson’s, and I was like, okay, I really need to not end up down this road. So what do I need to do to protect myself to get there?

00;10;35;14 – 00;11;05;20
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And, I started by making my New Year’s resolution learn to relax. And that has been my New Year’s resolution every single year for the last 15, 20 years since I started it. Because it’s an ongoing process. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s it’s actually it has to be a priority in order for me to focus on it and make it happen.

00;11;05;23 – 00;11;23;11
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And I but I started to feel like it was funny the first day that I was like, hey, learn to relax. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know, I need to go to an expert. I have to go to someone who’s going to show me or tell me or something, I don’t know. It’s not who I am as a person.

00;11;23;13 – 00;11;44;28
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So I started going and again, I recognize the privilege here, but I started setting aside money to go to a spa a couple times a year, and I was like, okay, this place is supposed to make you relax, but like, that’s their job, right? So I’m going to go in and I’m going to be like, give me the work or the day long whatever.

00;11;45;01 – 00;12;10;22
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And I would go in anxious and uptight and being me and trying to do 700 things before I got there, and then I would disconnect. I would be there, I would disconnect, I would be present, I would be in my body, I would meditate, I would pass information in my brain. I would have quiet. I’d have a moment to think.

00;12;10;25 – 00;12;44;27
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And by the end of the day, my body was relaxed, my mind was calm and still, and I was exhausted because all of that stress that I was carrying with me hit me like a mack truck. Afterwards, and I would go home and crash out and sleep like 16 hours. And I was like, okay, there’s something wrong. Like a day of relaxation shouldn’t knock me out for 24 hours.

00;12;44;27 – 00;13;22;29
Unknown
That’s that’s crazy. So what’s happening? Like what’s actually happening here? And then I started to realize it’s a practice. The more I learn to be present, the more I learn to relax, the more I habitually did things to bring my energy level down, like meditation or weekly massages or even the chiropractor, whatever it was, the more I invested in my personal wellness and spent time there, the less I felt wiped out by it and the more energized I felt.

00;13;23;01 – 00;13;43;29
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And I was like, I didn’t need to recharge. Exactly. I’m like, this is working. This is now working. I can see what’s going on here. And then I started to kind of roll around that concept of, okay, so it’s lifestyle first, I can’t sign on for a job that requires me to be there from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. I cannot do it.

00;13;43;29 – 00;14;09;17
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It’s not feasible for me. I’m going to die like I’m going to die like no word of a lie, right? Yeah. So what can I do? What is my capacity? Right. So checking and constantly checking in. What is my capacity? What do I think I could do? What would bring me joy? What do I think would be helpful?

00;14;09;19 – 00;14;31;16
Unknown
And then we started to talk about, you know, we used to rent a cottage every summer and we’d spend, you know, like classic Toronto people, a lot of money to rent a cottage for one week of the year. Right, right. And every time we went up, I’d be like, I don’t want to leave home. And my husband’s like, yeah, no, me neither.

00;14;31;18 – 00;14;59;06
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And then I said to him, how do we live at the cottage? Like, can we you can work remotely. And I can figure something like, why are we living in the middle of the most anxious place I’ve ever been other than New York? Sorry, New York, but what if you know what I mean? Like, everybody’s so high anxiety and, you know, like, I think about our old neighborhood in Toronto and people were just angry and in a hurry and pushing people out of the way.

00;14;59;06 – 00;15;20;21
Unknown
And, you know, someone’s counting change at the counter and the person behind them, like, oh, and like a minute, like it’s okay to stop for a second. And so I said to my husband, what if we left Toronto and he never lived anywhere else? And he was like, I don’t know, really. Do you think it’s a good idea?

00;15;20;23 – 00;15;45;01
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And we sort of really think about it. And I said, I think it’s necessary, you know, for us to slow down, to live somewhere that just moves at a slower pace. I think it might be a smart move. So we moved to real nice and it’s awesome. Yeah. It is different. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. In terms of or really versus Toronto.

00;15;45;01 – 00;16;06;14
Unknown
Yeah. Oh yeah it’s bananas. It’s it’s so much slower. People are so much more mindful. It’s very much community. Like I lived in a huge highrise and I knew three people in the building. Now I live in a cul de sac and I know absolutely everybody on the street and half the people in the neighborhood and half of, yeah, frankly, that’s true.

00;16;06;14 – 00;16;29;19
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Yeah. You know, a lot of people do. Right. And so it really helped us build community, which is supportive and it helps reduce your stress. And I mean, there’s article after article after article saying longevity is supported by the friends you make by the connections you have. Yeah that’s true. That’s longevity. Right. You’re going to live longer if you have a community and a support system.

00;16;29;19 – 00;16;53;19
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I have these like cards I pull every day just as like a little bit of an inspirational whatever my friend bought them for me. They’re called spiritual AF and it’s like, it’s cool because it’s not one kind of religion. I’m not really anyone that subscribes to one religion. But it kind of plays with that whole capacity of, you write your own ticket, right?

00;16;53;21 – 00;17;14;17
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And the message today is stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it. Interesting. So it gives you that moment to be like, yeah. There there are moments throughout my day where I’m like, why am I miserable here? And I’m doing the same patterns and the same shit that’s making me angry and frustrated. Yeah.

00;17;14;17 – 00;17;40;01
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And expecting a different outcome. Yeah. And then is it like at the end of the day, we have so much control, but we’re taught we have none. But we have so much control. You just have to say no. And what a powerful word that is. Right. And to just being in so much control by just saying no more.

00;17;40;01 – 00;17;55;10
Unknown
Right. Like it’s. Yeah. And it’s funny, like my husband Nate, when we first met, used to have this fight because I’d be like, oh, we have to go to this thing. And he’s like, why? And I’m like, well, it’s expected of us. Like we’re we’re meant to be there. We’ve been invited. And it’s just good manners to. And he’s like, I don’t want to do that.

00;17;55;10 – 00;18;14;12
Unknown
And I’d be like, I’m sorry. What makes you think you get to say you don’t want to do that? Like we’re going. It’s the polite thing to do. And he’s like, yeah, I’m not going. And in my mind I was like, who taught you you’re allowed to do this? I was taught you go, yeah. The expectation you show up.

00;18;14;14 – 00;18;30;07
Unknown
And that was like a learning moment for me too, because I was like, wait a minute. And I started asking all the other men because I hung out with mostly men. I started asking all the other men in my life, like, if you don’t want to go somewhere to go, and they’re like, no. And like, what do you mean?

00;18;30;07 – 00;19;03;02
Unknown
You just don’t go? I was in shock. I was like, wait a minute, what? I don’t have to go places. I don’t want to go. Yeah, okay. Who knows what I think? That’s great. So now when someone’s like, do you want to go to this? I’m like Do I want to go to this. No or yeah I’m excited about going to that.

00;19;03;04 – 00;19;26;15
Unknown
That’s awesome. Yeah it’s funny because it seems so obvious and so simple. Right. But then you’re like but really. Oh I mean look we could talk about feminist theory forever, but women have been done a disservice. Like, we have been taught to toe the line and do the thing and pick up the pieces and fill in for everybody’s shortfalls.

00;19;26;17 – 00;19;50;29
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And I am not disparaging men at all. They were taught different things. But we were taught to just make it work, make it all work, figure it out. And it’s tough because there are days where, like, I don’t have the energy to make it work. And that’s kind of an unfair burden to put on me. Yeah.

00;19;51;01 – 00;20;24;04
Unknown
And so you know in a real partnership which I like to believe my husband I have, I can say today is not my what make it work day. Today’s your make it work day or today’s we both give up in order pizza day. That’s okay to be valid. Yeah. Also. Yeah. Exactly right. And it’s like giving yourself permission to do what you need to do to keep your cup full, to make the decisions that are right for you to to block out that external influence that you were talking about.

00;20;24;04 – 00;20;32;12
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June. Right. Where it’s like, am I doing this for me or for someone else? Or because someone suggested you got to check in with you?

00;20;36;02 – 00;21;02;17
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After making such a big change, what kinds of beliefs and routines does she have to support her thinking and keep her from returning to those past patterns? Another simple but completely eye opening way to start approaching a big change in life. As a self-proclaimed recovering people pleaser. I struggle with saying no and putting my own wants and needs above someone else’s.

00;21;02;24 – 00;21;13;01
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I find that really, really tough. I wanted to dive into our needs as people, self-discovery and the role they play in balancing life.

00;21;15;05 – 00;21;37;25
Unknown
I feel like the biggest thing that people don’t realize is how much control they actually have. So, you know, a lot of it comes down to boundaries. If if you’re not checking in with yourself, understanding your capacity, understanding what you need to fill your bucket, then you have no where to start to set those boundaries.

00;21;37;27 – 00;22;02;07
Unknown
So you have to have really good knowledge of self. And then the next step beyond that is okay. Now I’m going to set my goals and set my boundaries and understand the direction I’m headed and keep, you know, correcting course. If I get off course, it’s not a moment to beat myself up and be like, see, I can’t work out.

00;22;02;07 – 00;22;22;16
Unknown
I’m not a gym person. It’s like, no, no, no, not like you missed a few days. Right? Let’s go back tomorrow. It’s all good. We don’t need to be so hard on ourselves. And I think that’s the hardest part for people. Yeah.

00;22;22;18 – 00;22;46;01
Unknown
Can someone, you know, this question just came up with for me is like, do you think someone can actually achieve that perfect balance, if you will, of work life of, you know, however that shakes out, you got to think of it like this way. Work life balance is sort of like dealing with the water levels of a river.

00;22;46;04 – 00;23;18;28
Unknown
Sometimes they’re high and sometimes they’re low. So when they’re low, like take advantage and spend that extra time in your personal life. And when they’re high, you know, set some boundaries so that you don’t drown. Right? It’s it’s sort of there’s no perfect balance. Nothing’s going to be 5050. But I would say if you are healthy and you are focusing on your wellness and you are not so stressed out that you want to like, check yourself into the psychiatric ward.

00;23;19;00 – 00;23;46;23
Unknown
You’re probably in good shape right? You just have to keep feeding yourself, nurturing yourself so that you feel that you have the capacity to handle what comes right. And part of that is resilience, because you’re going to get knocked down right. And sometimes it’s going to feel like it’s not a river, it’s a waterfall. Those days suck, right?

00;23;46;29 – 00;24;15;28
Unknown
There’s no removing pain from your life. There’s no removing hardship. This is just how life goes. We’re on an ever running roller coaster. However, the dips can be shallower, right? The ebb and flow can be lighter if we allow for it. And we are flexible. Is that how someone would be able to tell if they’re going in the right direction?

00;24;15;28 – 00;24;40;08
Unknown
If someone thinks like, oh, I’m working too much or I’m not working enough, whatever extreme they are and want to correct the ship, how do they know that they’re going the right direction is all of a sudden things aren’t or the hard things aren’t as hard and the good things are better. How would you figure out? So it’s really about like, okay, how do I invest my time in self-care?

00;24;40;08 – 00;25;05;17
Unknown
How do I invest my time in finding things outside of work that give me, you know, motivation, excite me, want me? You know, I like I love to sing, I, I’m I’m not the best singer, but I love to sing. So someone’s like, oh, we’re doing karaoke. Like I’m their right. It fills my bucket. I love to do it.

00;25;05;17 – 00;25;30;23
Unknown
It’s so fun for me. There’s like a release in it for me. And you know, I’m going to give a shout out to Brett at Revolution. PA Revolution because he’s incredible. And, you know, you leave there full of joy. So how do I find those moments in life where I leave somewhere or end a process of something where I’m full of joy?

00;25;30;26 – 00;25;51;25
Unknown
That’s how you know it’s working, right? When you can actually be like, oh, my God, I’m so blissfully happy in this moment. It’s not going to last forever. Because that doesn’t that’s not how the world works. Yeah. But moments of joy, the more you find them and the more gratitude you have for them. Because gratitude is huge.

00;25;51;25 – 00;26;20;22
Unknown
If you’re not grateful for the joy in the beautiful things that exist for you, you’re just going to be miserable, right? Of course. Yeah, right. So finding those gratitude moments to to be like, wow, I’m so grateful that I’m here right now and I’m drinking out of my favorite coffee, coffee cup. And, you know, I’m having a moment to myself in this peace and quiet and I can hear my own thoughts, and I’m grateful for that.

00;26;20;25 – 00;26;49;24
Unknown
It rewires your brain literally just ten minutes of silence can make me a different human being. Happiness is a loaded term. Yeah. Everybody searching for happiness. Yeah. But I like to reframe it more as like those moments of joy, because I think that we can find ourselves in those moments of joy and then sit in gratitude in them.

00;26;49;26 – 00;27;16;24
Unknown
Right. And it’s, it’s euphoric. Yeah. It creates a thing in your brain. All the good chemicals are being released and your brain’s like oh I can’t believe I’m here right now. I mean I think a lot of people have had that experience in their life where they’re like, I can’t believe I’m here right now. And it can be something as simple as you’re with your two best friends around a campfire.

00;27;16;26 – 00;27;44;18
Unknown
Yeah. And it can be something as crazy as I’m on the top of the Eiffel Tower. Right. And everything in between. So it’s sort of like pinpointing those moments and being like, oh I need to be here. I need to be here and present in this moment and really appreciating it, because that is the other thing with work life balance is being present.

00;27;44;21 – 00;28;08;07
Unknown
Because if you’re in the past that’s linked to depression, if you’re dwelling on things in the past that’s linked to depression, if you’re dwelling on things in the future that’s linked to anxiety, there’s my problem. It’s what it is. Not alone. Right. So if we’re in either of those places, then we’ve we’re having a hard time focusing.

00;28;08;07 – 00;28;48;20
Unknown
If we’re present right here. Yeah, I’m right here, right now. I’m mindful about what’s happening to me right here, right now. There’s a great exercise, actually. If you take a raisin and put it in your mouth and mindfully eat the raisin and feel all the ridges and like it creates a moment of being extremely present. And it’s interesting to notice how your body reacts to that because it’s like a huge shift when we’re anxious often we’re like all up tighter shoulders are up by our ears and we’re, you know, jittery.

00;28;48;22 – 00;29;10;16
Unknown
And when we’re present it’s almost like a release. Yeah. Yeah, I totally get that. There’s a meditation that I like to do where you, imagine shining a spotlight on different parts of your body and then just thinking about what? What is that body, that part feeling right now? Like, you know, my back. What is it feeling? The air.

00;29;10;16 – 00;29;36;10
Unknown
Is it feeling the back of the chair? Is it feeling, you know, there’s clothes in the middle, like, what is it that it’s feeling? And just again, the idea of being present, like it really focuses inward and it really changes your perspective. My hack for the next step beyond that is I pick six words that really mean something to me, and I meditate on the word.

00;29;36;12 – 00;30;08;17
Unknown
So we’ll sit and be like health, health. What does health mean to me and feel that in my body? What color is health? How does my body feel? What parts of my body feel healthy like? And I’ll take like five ten minutes per word. Not usually timed, but sometimes timed. And I’ll just focus on the word. And the word itself brings up thoughts.

00;30;08;20 – 00;30;41;17
Unknown
And you really just sort of people are like, oh, you’re supposed to turn your brain off when you meditate. No, you’re supposed to allow thoughts to come and go. That’s the training. Yeah. It’s not a big black screen in there. You’re never getting that right. But you’re supposed to allow things to come and go. And so for me you know visualizing things I’ll visualize like those 1970s block letters from Sesame Street like nice health, right.

00;30;41;17 – 00;31;07;19
Unknown
And like what color is it and what’s the font and how big are the letters? And I’ll really think about what the purpose of that word is and how it feels to me and how I interpret it and how it’s portrayed to me. And that gives me something to think about, but something that’s also filling my bucket and helping me understand something that’s important to me.

00;31;07;22 – 00;31;16;05
Unknown
Right. So I’ll do like health. Well, kindness, happiness, peace and love. Those are my words.

00;31;19;29 – 00;31;30;11
Unknown
With Russia. Our conversations are always fantastic. There’s always so much to take away, and I absolutely love hearing her perspective and hearing how she thinks about the world around her.

00;31;30;17 – 00;31;35;24
Unknown
I appreciate the information and perspective she shared, and I can’t wait to chat with her again soon.

00;31;36;11 – 00;31;55;28
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Thank you for listening to the entire episode. All the links and info you heard in this conversation will be featured in the show notes on our website. If you’d like to know more about anything we mentioned in this episode, make sure to check Villager Magazine Talks Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you’re listening from.

00;31;56;00 – 00;32;04;24
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